Atlanta, GA (WRT) – After rolling out a wave of new insights into the democratic primary, CNN has decided to start tallying “Unpledged Bullshit” so voters can better understand who’s winning the democratic races.
“We can get a better prediction out of tallying where the unpledged bullshits stand. At the democratic national convention, they can ultimately vote either way. But this is what we know as of right now.” CNN political correspondent Tom Ross explained. “CNN is attempting to predict that outcome, and it’s better when we can look at the big picture, and to do that, it requires tallying things like superdelegates, unpledged bullshit.”
When asked why Senator Bernie Sanders hasn’t been awarded as much Unpledged Bullshit as Secretary Hillary Clinton, Ross responded “I wouldn’t say that by tallying these numbers that it helps create a narrative- Senator Sanders just doesn’t have any bullshit yet, so his count is currently zero. This may be an indication that he hasn’t struck the attention of bullshit endorsements just yet.”