Washington, DC (WRT) – US Capitol staff were in for a surprise Wednesday morning when they noticed the doors to the Senate chamber were ajar and had paint smeared all over the glass in the shape of a dick.

After reporting the security breach, it became apparent that those responsible had access to the senate the previous day.

“Paintball, really? Never played that one before but it sure sounds fun” said Senate Republican David Perdue with a huge walnut sized bruise on his forehead. “Wow this place is sure the mess, it almost looks like whoever was the blue team got mad beat though” Senate Republican Ron Johnson said looking at the carnage.

“It definitely looks like who ever was the red team got their asses handed to them” chimed in Senate Democrat Cory Booker.  “Yeah looks like they can’t even fuckin’ aim” added Senate Democrat Chris Coons.

At press time Chris Coons and Senate Republican Tom Cotton could be seen shoving each other as the group of senators started arguing about which team had doper stats.