Seattle, WA (WRT) – Seahawk fans rejoice: Unexpectedly coming out of retirement, Marshawn Lynch has signed a new two-million Skittle contract.
When asked about the contract, Lynch responded “The green ones are my favorite.” to a room of bewildered reporters- awing at the site of a Marshawn Lynch cardboard cutout with a walkie talkie taped over his cardboard mouth.
“I just wanted to reach new heights and this is like achieving every height at the same time” Lynch further explained to reporters attempting to figure out where Lynch might be in the building, considering the football star was using a walkie talkie.
“If I see a single M&M I’m not going to talk again ever.”