San Francisco, California (WRT) – In an unprecedented, bizarre move, a drunk Coca Cola CEO Muhtar Kent could be seen stumbling over a beer keg after, what reports are saying, having bought the Broncos.

“I think I offered that funny lookin’ fella about a zillion bucks or some shit, gave the guy my car keys too, I just wanted the broncs” he said in slurred speech to a press team. “Told the boys down at coca cola I wanted advertising, THIS is [SIC] adverver…ver tising”

Kent went on to explain that the Broncos have a new name effective immediately, the Broncoca Cola’s. “my first act as commander and chief of the Broncoca Cola’s will be to win this damn [SIC] Super Roll on down to my house, I want to go home”

At press time, reporters were becoming equally baffled at the rumor that Pepsi had purchased the Pepi-Panthers- a rumor sparked by a sudden name change of the North Carolina team.