Janesville, WI (WRT) – During a campaign stop in Wisconsin Tuesday afternoon, a mesmerizing 4D lightning bolt struck Trump’s stage, revealing what appeared to be a futuristic battle scarred protester from a horrible future where Trump had caused a nuclear arms race to escalate into World War III. The cybernetic protester-soldier, with what appeared to be a hydrogen fusion powered railgun, proceeded to blow the candidate’s head clean off reducing the candidate’s golden hair to literal stardust. After successfully preventing the horrible events that would have otherwise unfolded, the nightmare-riddled future ceased to exist. But due to the absence of the death-future, the soldier with power armor faded away from the timeline- causing Donald Trump to reappear- which then caused the terrible future to exist again. This resulted in the same sequence of events to forever play out in an infinite time loop.
“This is what I mean about protester violence” Trump said after having his head blown off by a railgun for the 37th time in a row. “I’m in a insurmountable amount of pain and I really cannot fully describe to you the extent of how much this hurts- and do you know why this hurts? It’s because people don’t think, they just do whatever they want, they’re stupid, they cause infinite time paradoxes, they really should just get another job.”
“I can tell you for sure that guy would never work for me, never.”
After 12 hours of the infinite time loop, Trump followed up with plans to make sure immigration from the future would be stopped forever. His campaign has released a proposal for a 85 quadrillion dollar 4D border fence that would stretch from the center of the third dimension to New Mexico.
UPDATE 5:13 PM 3/30/16 – The event has been deemed an isolated event of “Temporal Trumpicide” after a tribunal of international physicists met to analyze the occurrence. There are plans to take data on site as soon as next week to better explain the Trumpadox.