Plains, GA (WRT) – 91-year-old President Jimmy Carter recently overcame a battle with cancer. The press had several questions to ask the famous politician and former leader of the free world, but President Carter only responded to one. When asked about the secret to his long lifespan, he spoke of his daily routine and his tips for good health.

“I drink mostly water and bourbon. And I eat a Georgia peach for breakfast every day. All of that has done me well,” Carter said, between long swigs from a large, brown bottle, “But the secret to my unnaturally long lifespan? I watch the same episode of the X Files every single night before I go to sleep. It’s the pilot episode. I just think that sets the show up for so much interesting mystery and intrigue that it’s impossible not to want to know what happens next. And that curiosity keeps me going.”

Friends and family of Jimmy Carter say that they have seen him leaning uncomfortably close to the television set and vocalizing his speculations for the next nine seasons of the prime time drama. Will Scully and Mulder get married? Are the aliens real? Who is that guy with the cigarette? Is this an episode of Twin Peaks?
“That’s my Jimmy,” spoke Rosalynn Carter, “He’s my inquisitive James. Everyone here in Plains calls him, ‘Ooooo! Jimmy!”