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Totally Embarrassing: Elon Musk Accidentally Launches Nude Photo Into Space

James Masino — Sat, 20 Feb 2016 00:46:15 +0000

Space, Space – (WRT) Eccentric billionaire scientist and businessman Elon Musk held his head in shame in this morning. Musk’s “Life Raft” spacecraft is designed to explore nearby celestial bodies, moons, and planets for alternate fuel sources, and was successfully launched today, marking the dawning of a new era of energy; however, Musk was not so thrilled to discover that many of the important drivers and programs installed on the Life Raft scout were accidentally gutted and replaced with the same copy of a nude photo of himself over six hundred billion times.

“This is so embarrassing,” Musk commented, “All I wanted to do was help people, and now the whole planet, and maybe even aliens, are going to see my little dingaling. I really wish I’d never become an altruistic intrepid scientist right about now.”

The post Totally Embarrassing: Elon Musk Accidentally Launches Nude Photo Into Space first appeared on World Report Today.

Could This be the New Samsung Galaxy?

James Masino — Mon, 15 Feb 2016 16:57:49 +0000

Silicon Valley, CA – (WRT) Speculation is growing over just what exactly the Samsung Galaxy S7 will look like. Boasting some serious hardware, the Samsung Galaxy S7 will be the biggest gadget released by the company in 2016. The best guarded secret of the industry? What it is going to look like.

Is this the new Galaxy S7?

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What about this?

Is this the hottest release of 2016?

The Galaxy S7 is so mysterious, I’m not even sure what it is. It could be anything, or anyone. Is the new Galaxy S7 this?

This picture of Charles Barkley? Is this going to be the Galaxy S7?

Is this what a cell phone is? Is this what people think is cool?

This is a handsome looking cell phone. Pre-order one before they run out.

The post Could This be the New Samsung Galaxy? first appeared on World Report Today.

Bronco’s Change Name To “Broncoca Cola’s” after Coca Cola CEO Purchases Team In Drunk Half Time Rage

James Masino — Mon, 08 Feb 2016 01:42:00 +0000

San Francisco, California (WRT) – In an unprecedented, bizarre move, a drunk Coca Cola CEO Muhtar Kent could be seen stumbling over a beer keg after, what reports are saying, having bought the Broncos.

“I think I offered that funny lookin’ fella about a zillion bucks or some shit, gave the guy my car keys too, I just wanted the broncs” he said in slurred speech to a press team. “Told the boys down at coca cola I wanted advertising, THIS is [SIC] adverver…ver tising”

Kent went on to explain that the Broncos have a new name effective immediately, the Broncoca Cola’s. “my first act as commander and chief of the Broncoca Cola’s will be to win this damn [SIC] Super Roll on down to my house, I want to go home”

At press time, reporters were becoming equally baffled at the rumor that Pepsi had purchased the Pepi-Panthers- a rumor sparked by a sudden name change of the North Carolina team.

The post Bronco’s Change Name To “Broncoca Cola’s” after Coca Cola CEO Purchases Team In Drunk Half Time Rage first appeared on World Report Today.