The candidate was in town for a fundraiser when airport officials had to spend the entire afternoon attempting the calm the 757 down after the unexpected interaction. The 757 was seen flaring its own tail wing and driving backward in a sideways pattern (attempting to look larger) to the safety of a nearby hanger after sighting the President’s plane.

Crews trying to lure the 757 out with jet fuel and other treats resulted in a simple mean stare from the plane itself, sparking a standoff that lasted hours.

The 757 didn’t warm up to airport crews until the plane itself felt lonely enough to seek attention. The airport has recommended that in the future the two planes shouldn’t be put in the same airport with one another.

The post Trump’s 757 Spooked by Larger Air Force One first appeared on World Report Today.

Chicago, IL (WRT) – After thousands of protesters raided a Trump rally, the billionaire Presidential Candidate was forced to cancel his event, citing safety concerns over the violence taking place around the arena sparked by the massive protest.

“I don’t condone violence Don” Trump said to CNN’s Don Lemon over phone from the arena, and after telling supporters at a recent rally to “rough up” protesters.

“I just didn’t want to see anyone get hurt.” Trump stated after saying he’d like to punch a protester in the face just last week.

“Our freedom of speech was violated totally” Trump also said after multiple other rallies where his supporters spit and shoved protesters, effectively shutting them up.

At press time, reports circulating indicated that at upcoming Trump rallies, a mosh pit would be a mandatory opening act to the Presidential candidate. Followed by a paintball fight/burning cross combo after party.

The post Trump Says He Doesn’t Condone Violence After Inciting Violence For Months first appeared on World Report Today.

“Oh no… ooohhh noooo, what have I done” Christie thought to himself.

“This is bad, oh this is bad, this is real bad”

“I just told the world that this guy is the future of the Republican party and that he will bring the Republican party together, oh god what did I just do ohhhhhhhhhhhh”

“I’m going to be responsible for the nuclear skirmish this guy has with the middle east, I know I am, this is worse than a moment of weakness on my part, what is New Jersey going to think, this is the worst, ohhhhhh goooooodddd”

At press time, Governor Chris Christie was seen trembling back stage as he dealt with the first real brain functions his body and mind had ever endured in his entire life.

The post Chris Christie Regretting Whole Life After Backing Trump In “Moment Of Weakness” first appeared on World Report Today.

Willie Wilson who hasn’t had enough support throughout the primary process to even be invited to democratic debates, and only now has gotten on the ballot in South Carolina just days prior to the vote, apparently is still not drawing the eye of supporters in the face of Wonka’s campaign now eclipsing his own. Wilson, who is supportive of canceling outstanding student loan debt and focusing on education initiatives, just wasn’t likable enough for democrats compared to Wonka’s promise of Universal Candy.

Willy Wonka over the last few weeks has outlined his plans for a single payer candy system, where all Americans are able to subsidize their own sweets. Many also say that Wonka comes off as a “capable leader” compared to Wilson, mostly due to his much tighter foreign policy where America’s enemies would be forced to survive and eventually win Wonka’s candy factory in order to prove their ethical worth as a new ally.

Wonka himself might be doing better if it wasn’t for his extensive ties to major candy corporations and the milk-chocolate industrial complex.

The post Willie Wilson Behind Willy Wonka By 0.5% In South Carolina Primary first appeared on World Report Today.

“I only want to hear the results in the clearest format available, it would have ruined the experience completely otherwise.” Sanders said to a group of reporters in a basement at a friend’s house of his. “This was absolutely worth it, and it’s clear to me- it should be clear to everybody, that election results are not about Bernie Sanders… election results are about pristine audio quality”

At press time, the Vermont Senator could be seen in an anti-establishment discussion with his friends “who understand the real problems the United States faces today.”

The post Bernie Sanders Finally Hears New Hampshire Results After Waiting For Vinyl Release first appeared on World Report Today.

“I absolutely disagree that we should be incurring more debt through tuition free community colleges, that’s just too far- it’d never be something we could realistically get passed” said Clinton from 2008. “Look, I’m also realistic on the issues, and I like to get things done. Since I have the EXPERIENCE on the matter, this would benefit the middle class, as would raising the social security tax cap” said Clinton from 2016.

“Absolutely not, if we were to raise the earnings subject to the social security tax, the tax increase would hit middle-class earners directly. I put fiscal responsibility first” reputed Clinton from 2008. “We need reasonable taxes that work with states with their specific situations. Just like how states should maintain many other things, such as their jurisdiction over marriage. I personally believe in what marriage currently is, as do the majority of Americans. But the states should have the final say rather than the federal level getting involved” continued Clinton from 2008.

“That issue is entirely different, because it is a debate of equality which the federal government enforces under the Constitution” a visibly flustered Clinton from 2016 responded with.

At press time, Hillary Clinton from 1998 waited her turn to make a statement in the ongoing argument.

The post Hillary Clinton From 2016 in Fierce Debate With Hillary Clinton From 2008 Before NH Primary first appeared on World Report Today.