Atlanta, GA (WRT) – After rolling out a wave of new insights into the democratic primary, CNN has decided to start tallying “Unpledged Bullshit” so voters can better understand who’s winning the democratic races.

“We can get a better prediction out of tallying where the unpledged bullshits stand. At the democratic national convention, they can ultimately vote either way. But this is what we know as of right now.” CNN political correspondent Tom Ross explained. “CNN is attempting to predict that outcome, and it’s better when we can look at the big picture, and to do that, it requires tallying things like superdelegates, unpledged bullshit.”

When asked why Senator Bernie Sanders hasn’t been awarded as much Unpledged Bullshit as Secretary Hillary Clinton, Ross responded “I wouldn’t say that by tallying these numbers that it helps create a narrative- Senator Sanders just doesn’t have any bullshit yet, so his count is currently zero. This may be an indication that he hasn’t struck the attention of bullshit endorsements just yet.”

The post CNN Adds Unpledged Bullshit Category “To Better Show Delegate Lead” first appeared on World Report Today.

Another one of your neighbors who has a slightly nicer car than you do, has decided to start parking in your undeclared parking spot despite the known knowledge among neighbors that you are the one most likely park in that space.

To top off such an atrocity, there was also no logic present on the scene. Your preferred parking space is closer to your apartment than this particular neighbor’s apartment. Why the hell would he park farther from his apartment? Is he trying to burn 10 extra calories per day? Is he going home to your apartment?

At press time, your neighbor has not driven his car in at least two days, and there is no indication he plans to move his car any time soon.

The post Neighbor Takes Your Unofficial Parking Space Again, What a Dick first appeared on World Report Today.

David lugged the 70 pound box onto the counter once it was his turn, looking to the 71 year old post office worker with the expectation that she could properly do fucking anything to a box that heavy. “Sir…?” Esther, the senior volunteer for the afternoon said as the room went completely silent.

“Did I label it wrong?” David said as onlookers became filled with disbelief somebody could be this fucking terrible.

At press time, David could be seen wasting his own idiot life filing a complaint that his package couldn’t be shipped on time.

The post Man Puts 70 Pound Weight In Large Flat Rate Shipping Box- this can’t possibly be acceptable, right? first appeared on World Report Today.