Brandon Johnson, an eight year old traveling with his family to the Big Apple, revolutionized what it meant for a plane to be putrid Monday afternoon when he vomited all over himself.

The smell of the vomit proceeded to make its way into the ventilation, and within minutes the entire airplane smelled like the inside of Johnson’s stomach.

“It was incredible” Brandon’s dad said on scene. “I had no idea he even had it in him- he skipped breakfast. He makes us just so proud.”

The post One Quick Trick To Make Whole Airplane Smell Like Puke first appeared on World Report Today.

Sources indicate that it is still not clear whether or not picking this up would be sanitary, leading some to believe that picking up the pin another time would lead to better resolution.

One report indicates there are other bobby pins to use and much dirtier parts of the home that require attention.

The post Bobby Pin Still On Floor Where You Dropped It Seven Months Ago first appeared on World Report Today.

The post Poll: What is the Most Comfortable Way to Pee? first appeared on World Report Today.

Another one of your neighbors who has a slightly nicer car than you do, has decided to start parking in your undeclared parking spot despite the known knowledge among neighbors that you are the one most likely park in that space.

To top off such an atrocity, there was also no logic present on the scene. Your preferred parking space is closer to your apartment than this particular neighbor’s apartment. Why the hell would he park farther from his apartment? Is he trying to burn 10 extra calories per day? Is he going home to your apartment?

At press time, your neighbor has not driven his car in at least two days, and there is no indication he plans to move his car any time soon.

The post Neighbor Takes Your Unofficial Parking Space Again, What a Dick first appeared on World Report Today.

“It’s a supply and demand thing,” James spoke to WRT reporters, “The supply is money. The demand is money. If I control the supply of money, I don’t have to demand money anymore.” James wadded up three thousand Monopoly dollars. “Here, baby. Keep up the hard work. I’ll put you up in a hotel on North Carolina.”

At this moment, James’ children, Jessica and Donovan, have yet to comment.

The post The Game Has Changed: This Father Discovered a Way to Cheat at Monopoly first appeared on World Report Today.

David lugged the 70 pound box onto the counter once it was his turn, looking to the 71 year old post office worker with the expectation that she could properly do fucking anything to a box that heavy. “Sir…?” Esther, the senior volunteer for the afternoon said as the room went completely silent.

“Did I label it wrong?” David said as onlookers became filled with disbelief somebody could be this fucking terrible.

At press time, David could be seen wasting his own idiot life filing a complaint that his package couldn’t be shipped on time.

The post Man Puts 70 Pound Weight In Large Flat Rate Shipping Box- this can’t possibly be acceptable, right? first appeared on World Report Today.