Previous theories about which god, or what kind of god Kanye West might be, were struck down late last night during a series of tweets where West stated “i am actual god, the trials of my life are just #Inspiration #Yeezus”

Kanye West’s series of tweets, or now known as The Commandments, will be etched into government monuments across the nation in response to his follow up decry “Governments will teach about me in every school so kids KNOW.”

Flash drives will also be embedded in the stone that will be placed at the end of the new Commandments at each respective monument. Their purpose is not yet definite, but the tweet “buy my music on tidal 99 CENT downloaDs now for real #Yeezus” indicates the flash drives will feature 99 cent downloads of prominent religious West hymns for the poor.

At press time, God was seen tweeting President Barack Obama asking for the Presidency.

The post Kanye West Reveals He Is God After Ruining Music For Last Ten Years first appeared on World Report Today.

David lugged the 70 pound box onto the counter once it was his turn, looking to the 71 year old post office worker with the expectation that she could properly do fucking anything to a box that heavy. “Sir…?” Esther, the senior volunteer for the afternoon said as the room went completely silent.

“Did I label it wrong?” David said as onlookers became filled with disbelief somebody could be this fucking terrible.

At press time, David could be seen wasting his own idiot life filing a complaint that his package couldn’t be shipped on time.

The post Man Puts 70 Pound Weight In Large Flat Rate Shipping Box- this can’t possibly be acceptable, right? first appeared on World Report Today.