“…I thought this was movie night with Oscar, I didn’t.. I didn’t realize that this was the Oscars.” said a baffled Vice President to a crowd of confused stars. “I’m starting to think that this Oscar fellow I keep hearing about isn’t even a real guy, I mean, what the actual hell, right?” the Vice President stated as the venue grew silent.

“I’ve been so busy advocating for abused women and men I just wanted a nice night out, and I mean, we can and will change the culture so no abused woman or man will think they did anything wrong. But is some free time for Joe too much to ask?”

Joe Biden was seen walking awkwardly around the stage for a few minutes until Chris Rock attempted to point the Vice President in the right direction.

The post “This isn’t movie night with Oscar, this is the Oscars” Says Extremely Disappointed Joe Biden On Oscar Stage first appeared on World Report Today.

Excited to see the next “Hunger Games” installment, families and friends lined up Thursday night to see the movie, but “on the cheap”. Many parents after selecting a movie theater entirely located within a brick structure, were prepared to save big when they also realized the movie theater’s sign light was half out.

“Once I got inside the building, this 15-year-old jack ass has the audacity to tell me ‘that’ll be 8.75.'” One angry parent told WRT on site.

“The theater has got to be at least 65 degrees in here” a mom said as she bundled her seven-year old daughter in her own jacket. “This is a robbery, hands down.” another local dad could be overheard saying.

At press time, there was no evidence that the second counter for popcorn and snacks had been open for the last 15 years.

The post Fucking Bullshit: Movie Theater Charged Me $8.75 For a Ticket first appeared on World Report Today.