Houston, TX (WRT) – In the last debate before Super Tuesday, the five remaining GOP candidates had to fight hard to stay relevant among the political genius of a literal foreign policy blunder.

What appeared to be a jet fuel explosion infused with the wreckage of a United States drone wowed the crowd Thursday night as it laid out its plans for a 12 billion dollar Mexico-American wall that would actually cost at least 300 billion by the time construction was complete- with no aid from Mexico. The crowd was stunned at the revelation that the wall wouldn’t make any difference whatsoever, causing the crowd to burst into excitement.

“I can’t argue with that, I just can’t, you’re a very smart man and I can respect that, this is the future of the Republican party, the type of things we need, real conservatism” stated Donald Trump after the explosion with sounds of pure terror outlined its plans for continuing involvement in the Middle East, Syria, and the ambition to expand American influence/troops into Ukraine and Southern Russia.

The post Literal Foreign Policy Blunder Wins GOP Debate first appeared on World Report Today.

The post Poll: Which Republican Candidate Will Drop Out Next? first appeared on World Report Today.

Photo Credit: A Doctor

The post A Look Inside Jeb Bush first appeared on World Report Today.

“This pizza is really good, and I really want to show them that I appreciate this, but I’m getting kind of full” Carson mumbled as he ate progressively slower.

“Mm… that crust looks really crusty too. That’s going to be kind of hard on my teeth. But then again I don’t think I’ll be eating for another three hours” Carson said to himself while raising the pizza up and down from his plate. “There isn’t a trashcan nearby either. I really don’t want to just have a plate with crust on it.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t have gotten this in the first place.”

At press time, Carson was looking slightly agitated as he awkwardly stood around campaign volunteers, attempting to spark up conversation so he could delay his pizza crust decision.

The post Ben Carson Unsure Whether Or Not To Eat Crust On Pizza first appeared on World Report Today.

The Boeing 757 with Donald Trump on board was on its way to a rally in Little Rock, Arkansas when the pilot noticed the entire right engine was engulfed in black smoke. Once on the ground, it became clear the the engine was chalked full of what appeared to be a burnt small loan of a million dollars.

“It’s going to take us at least a month to scrub that much small loan of a million dollars out” said Tim Wagner, an airline engineer as he shook his head at what was left of the engine’s fuel lines that had been mangled by thousands of dollar bills.

At press time, Donald Trump’s campaign manager was urging the candidate to be more careful of where he leaves his self contributed campaign dollars.

The post Donald Trump’s Jet Makes Emergency Landing in Tennessee, Engines Clogged With Small Loan of Million Dollars. first appeared on World Report Today.