“This is what I mean about protester violence” Trump said after having his head blown off by a railgun for the 37th time in a row. “I’m in a insurmountable amount of pain and I really cannot fully describe to you the extent of how much this hurts- and do you know why this hurts? It’s because people don’t think, they just do whatever they want, they’re stupid, they cause infinite time paradoxes, they really should just get another job.”

“I can tell you for sure that guy would never work for me, never.”

After 12 hours of the infinite time loop, Trump followed up with plans to make sure immigration from the future would be stopped forever. His campaign has released a proposal for a 85 quadrillion dollar 4D border fence that would stretch from the center of the third dimension to New Mexico.

UPDATE 5:13 PM 3/30/16 – The event has been deemed an isolated event of “Temporal Trumpicide” after a tribunal of international physicists met to analyze the occurrence. There are plans to take data on site as soon as next week to better explain the Trumpadox.

The post Donald Trump Stuck in Endless Cycle of Being Assassinated and Resuscitated By Time Traveler first appeared on World Report Today.

The reporter, who suffers from a joint condition,  successfully made it look as if he had no condition at all in order to properly portray Donald Trump’s facial expression and pose. Sources confirmed that the reporter was referencing a time he and Donald Trump had met.

“Now this super racist presidential candidate, you should have seen this candidate” he continued, before launching into an apparent impression of Donald Trump by stabilizing his arms and hands long enough to comb all the hair on the back of his head to the front.

“I got a small loan of a million dollars from my dad, uhhh, I’m going to build a 12 billion dollar border wall uhhh. He’s going like “We need to deport all the illegal immigrants because they’re bringing rapists here.”

A Donald Trump spokeswoman told World Report Today: “We think it’s completely outrageous that this reporter would ridicule the appearance of our own candidate.” Trump’s campaign has not issued an official statement, but the tycoon took to Twitter to express his feelings about the event.

The post Disabled Reporter Mocks Able Bodied Donald Trump first appeared on World Report Today.