When asked about the contract, Lynch responded “The green ones are my favorite.” to a room of bewildered reporters- awing at the site of a Marshawn Lynch cardboard cutout with a walkie talkie taped over his cardboard mouth.

“I just wanted to reach new heights and this is like achieving every height at the same time” Lynch further explained to reporters attempting to figure out where Lynch might be in the building, considering the football star was using a walkie talkie.

“If I see a single M&M I’m not going to talk again ever.”

The post Marshawn Lynch Signs Two Million Skittle Contract first appeared on World Report Today.

Waunona, MN (WRT) – I found this pair of boots in a restaurant in the bathroom. These boots are very stylish and I imagine whoever wears these boots will get a lot of women or men. Somebody should hurry up and claim these boots before I take them and use them to get a brand new job as the CEO of Looking Good!

1. These Cool Ass Boots are Dope AF

Look, let’s just stick to the facts. These cool ass boots offer a lot of flare in both the dope department, and the groovy department. I’d wager these cool ass boots could even be considered fly. If I had to think of a few more adjectives for these cool ass boots, I would, because I like these cool ass boots a lot and so should you.

2. These Cool Ass Boots Will Keep Your Feet Dry, Definitely

There is no doubt in my mind that your feet will be dry in these cool ass boots. Whoever used to own these cool ass boots definitely knew a thing or two about dry feet. They probably had a whole book about dry feet and how dry feet are better than wet feet. You can’t do anything in wet feet. Have you tried going to the circus in wet feet? You can’t even enjoy the elephants because your feet are all wet.

3. Nobody is Going to Hurt You if You Wear These Cool Ass Boots

Nuh uh, no sir, no way. If I put these cool ass boots on I doubt I could even get a vicious, rabid junkyard dog to nibble on my toes. Even an angry man who is about to hit you will take one look at your cool ass boots and recognize you as a person with serious style.

4. If Nobody Claims These Cool Ass Boots I Am Going to Take the Cool Ass Boots and They Will be Mine

I am going to say it for the last time: I will wait only five more minutes for somebody to claim these cool ass boots from the bathroom at the Arby’s and then I am going to take them with me. If you are walking around right now and suddenly notice that you are missing a pair of cool ass boots, you need to get your naked feet into this Arby’s and claim your footwear.

5. That’s It! I Am Snatching These Cool Ass Boots Up

You had your chance, the cool ass boots are mine.

The post Whose Cool Ass Boots Are These? first appeared on World Report Today.