Houston, TX (WRT) – In the last debate before Super Tuesday, the five remaining GOP candidates had to fight hard to stay relevant among the political genius of a literal foreign policy blunder.

What appeared to be a jet fuel explosion infused with the wreckage of a United States drone wowed the crowd Thursday night as it laid out its plans for a 12 billion dollar Mexico-American wall that would actually cost at least 300 billion by the time construction was complete- with no aid from Mexico. The crowd was stunned at the revelation that the wall wouldn’t make any difference whatsoever, causing the crowd to burst into excitement.

“I can’t argue with that, I just can’t, you’re a very smart man and I can respect that, this is the future of the Republican party, the type of things we need, real conservatism” stated Donald Trump after the explosion with sounds of pure terror outlined its plans for continuing involvement in the Middle East, Syria, and the ambition to expand American influence/troops into Ukraine and Southern Russia.

The post Literal Foreign Policy Blunder Wins GOP Debate first appeared on World Report Today.

“I only want to hear the results in the clearest format available, it would have ruined the experience completely otherwise.” Sanders said to a group of reporters in a basement at a friend’s house of his. “This was absolutely worth it, and it’s clear to me- it should be clear to everybody, that election results are not about Bernie Sanders… election results are about pristine audio quality”

At press time, the Vermont Senator could be seen in an anti-establishment discussion with his friends “who understand the real problems the United States faces today.”

The post Bernie Sanders Finally Hears New Hampshire Results After Waiting For Vinyl Release first appeared on World Report Today.